The Colon

Feb 14, 20192 min read

Nation to Mimic Star Trek by Holding Valentine's Day Every 7 Years

Feb 13, 20192 min read

Valentine’s Day Put on Hold Due to Worldwide Shortage of Cupid-sized Diapers

Feb 12, 20193 min read

Most North Koreans Loyal out of Pity for Kim Jong-un

Feb 11, 20192 min read

Elephants Most Invasive Species Threatening Every Biosphere

Feb 10, 20192 min read

Anti-piracy Campaign Explains Your Taste in Music Not Worth Committing Federal Crime

Feb 9, 20192 min read

Leaving a Cult

Feb 8, 20192 min read

Not Sure This is the Right Column

Feb 7, 20191 min read

Local Woman Arrested for Being Illegally Blind

Feb 6, 20192 min read

"Stop" Signs to be Converted to "Tap on Brakes a Little" Signs

Feb 5, 20192 min read

It's Time Someone Openly Criticized the President

Feb 4, 20192 min read

Genius Detective Hangs Missing Glove on Fence

Feb 3, 20192 min read

Repurposing Your Neighbor's Christmas Decorations

Feb 2, 20192 min read

Removing Blood from Your Trunk

Feb 1, 20193 min read

Betty Crocker, Garbage Man, and Other Heroes to Join Avengers: Endgame

Jan 31, 20193 min read

Newly Obese Dietitians & Nutritionists Hit Hardest by Holidays

Jan 30, 20193 min read

Democrats Want More Illegal Immigrants’ Life-force to Drain

Jan 29, 20192 min read

Political Scientists: Population to Fade Away if Government Shut Down Again

Jan 28, 20192 min read

Cupid to Modernize Weaponry

Jan 27, 20192 min read

White Doctor Refuses to Treat Black Man Because Patient "Dead for Six Hours"

Jan 26, 20192 min read

Experts: This Problem Has No Solution, and We Wanted to Ruin Your Day

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Fake News for Real People