Opinion

Dec 16, 20192 min read

Peddlers Should Clearly Enunciate What They're After

Dec 11, 20192 min read

How About We Stop Being Morons?

Nov 14, 20192 min read

Yes, Stocking Vending Machines is Exactly as Much Fun as You've Imagined

Nov 8, 20191 min read

"Human Hydration Needs" were Invented by Water Companies

Nov 4, 20192 min read

So We're All Just Going to Ignore that This Service Dog Farted?

Oct 26, 20193 min read

It's Not Like Murder Was the Only Thing John Wayne Gacy Did

Oct 14, 20193 min read

Look, Alls I'm Saying is That North Korea is at Least Unified

Sep 28, 20192 min read

It's Almost 2020. When Will We Have Reusable Socks?

Sep 18, 20192 min read

Even Though I Have No Experience With This Issue, I Have a Strong Opinion About It

Sep 5, 20192 min read

Isn't It Time We Brought Back the Monarchy?

Aug 21, 20192 min read

If You Can't Say Something Nice, You're a Piece of Garbage

Jul 9, 20192 min read

Dear Grownups: Warming Up A Hot Dog Does Not Warrant a "Thank You"

Jun 18, 20192 min read

This Holiday is Extremely Offensive, Probably

Jun 6, 20192 min read

Why Won't You Just Die: An Open Letter from Movie Villains to Heroes

May 23, 20192 min read

You Owe Me An Explanation for That Hairdo

May 11, 20192 min read

Everyone Needs to Be Offended Until No One is Offended Anymore

Apr 24, 20192 min read

If Congress Really Cared About Terrorism, They Would Time Travel to Stop It

Apr 22, 20191 min read

Earth Day? What about Air, Water, and Fire Days?

Apr 18, 20192 min read

When Will Women be Equally Represented in Prisons?

Apr 9, 20192 min read

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