By Nathaniel Weingard—Let's face it: our political system in the United States is broken. Our two-party system has become more divided and entrenched than at any time I remember. Well, I guess I wasn't around during the Civil War, but that whole incident just proves what I'm getting at: a democratic republic is a mistake.
Sure, the idea seemed good on paper: the people of the United States carefully select representatives who would serve their interests in positions of power, and the checks and balances would ensure that those leaders could not become too powerful. What could possibly go wrong?
Right now, that's what. The problem is that when people disagree about how the government should do things, sometimes the wrong people get elected. And then, even when the right people are elected, they have just a few years to get things set straight before they are chased out of office by the voters. This system is destined for failure, because the people never know who is the right person to vote into office. All they get is mixed messages from news sources, and people who don't know the right way to think on social media.
This is why, I propose, it is high time that we create a monarchy in the United States. This is the only reasonable solution to our current political climate. The problem with politics in our country is that the common people are part of the decision-making process, and I think that we have clearly demonstrated that we are not qualified to be electing our leaders. Therefore, we should remove ourselves from the equation. A king or queen could easily solve most of our partisan problems, because we would no longer be participants in the government. We would be loyal subjects to their will.
Imagine how much better our time could be spent if there was no presidential campaigning, no debates, and no political ads. Instead, we would simply learn of the monarch's whims in the state-controlled news and media center, which could be put into simple terms that clearly explain why those decisions are best for us all and why there's no need to complain or dissent. Rather than debating the pros and cons of "constitutional rights," we could just all agree to do whatever their majesty dictated, and move on with our tasks.
So listen, America. Things are out of hand. We made them this way. This is our fault. This is not the legacy I want to leave for my children and their children. Let's stop the endless bickering and internet trolling. Let's bring back order and stability by selecting a royal family. We'll never know if we don't try.
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