The Colon

Jan 5, 20192 min read

Job Interviewer Talks about Conservatism Like Radiation

Jan 4, 20192 min read

Goldfish Resolves to Swim Counterclockwise This Year

Jan 3, 20191 min read

My Spirit Animal is Probably Some Kind of Road Kill

Jan 2, 20191 min read

DNA Tests Reveal Most Domestic Cats Actually Cursed Humans

Jan 1, 20191 min read

2019 Already Considered a Loss

Dec 31, 20182 min read

R2-D2 Latest Target of #MeToo

Dec 30, 20182 min read

Winning a Trade War

Dec 29, 20181 min read

Apple to Discontinue Bluetooth Compatibility in 2019

Dec 28, 20181 min read

I Get Out in 6 Months

Dec 27, 20182 min read

Toddler Leader Accused of Accepting Sticker Bribe

Dec 26, 20182 min read

Baby Jesus Enters the Off-season

Dec 25, 20181 min read

Nation's Scrooges: "Humbug"

Dec 24, 20181 min read

Pope Has Crisis of Faith upon Learning Santa isn’t Real

Dec 23, 20183 min read

PSA: Stool Softeners Fail to Increase Comfort of Sitting

Dec 22, 20181 min read

How to Wrap Gifts without Wrapping Paper

Dec 21, 20182 min read

I Know It's Not Funny, But...

Dec 20, 20181 min read

Rocking Horse Ornament Doesn't Make the Cut this Year

Dec 19, 20182 min read

Agnostic's Yearly Letter Still Somehow Preachy

Dec 18, 20182 min read

Breaking: U.N. to Enter Negotiations Following Santa's Capture by North Korea

Dec 17, 20183 min read

Easing Into Munchausen Syndrome

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Fake News for Real People