News 14/27

Dec 5, 20182 min read

Toddler Biding Time to Knock over Christmas Tree Until it All Decorated

Dec 4, 20181 min read

Disease Affecting Blonde Actress Crops Devastates Christmas Movie Industry

Dec 3, 20182 min read

Grandma Says White and ‘Colored’ Christmas Lights Shouldn’t Mix

Nov 29, 20182 min read

Jeweler Stops Beating Around Bush, Questions Your Love

Nov 28, 20181 min read

Fewer Smokers Die of Cancer than by Other Means

Nov 27, 20182 min read

PETA Purchases Meat Factories, Increases Production

Nov 26, 20182 min read

Most Visiting Officials Mistake North Korea for North Pole

Nov 25, 20182 min read

Groupthink Again Leads to Family Suffering through Christmas Music in Car

Nov 24, 20182 min read

Thanksgiving Officially Rebranded "Pie Christmas"

Nov 22, 20182 min read

Republic of Turkey Institutes Eagle-eating Tradition

Nov 21, 20182 min read

Unified Turkey Revolt Causes Hundreds of Human Deaths, Military Called In

Nov 20, 20182 min read

Capitalist High Priest to Offer Yearly Turkey Sacrifice in Hopes of Good Black Friday

Nov 17, 20182 min read

People Genuinely Appreciate Being Informed of Wrongness of Long-held Opinions via Internet

Nov 16, 20182 min read

Bombshell: Martin and Morgan Freeman Not Actually Related

Nov 15, 20182 min read

One-third of Americans Not Getting Enough Gluten

Nov 12, 20182 min read

Fly On Wall: "You Not Missing Much"

Nov 11, 20182 min read

Scientists: Children's Music to Reach Irreversible Levels of Annoying by 2020

Nov 10, 20182 min read

Assassin Attributes Success to Motivational Speaker

Nov 7, 20182 min read

God Admits Ostrich Was Just a Joke

Nov 6, 20181 min read

THE COLON

Fake News for Real People