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Writer's pictureTodd Blankenship

Fewer Smokers Die of Cancer than by Other Means



ATLANTA, GA—The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) released findings yesterday that detail the top ten causes of death for smokers. Cancer barely made the list despite a staggering total of approximately 500,000 smoking-related deaths per year in the United States. Here are its findings in increasing order:

10. Cancer of the lung, mouth, and/or throat (1.39% or 6,944 deaths)

9. Failed attempt to extinguish cigarette on clothing/couch/skin (2.78% or 13,889 deaths)

8. Eating meat that has been smoked/stuffed/breaded/garnished with tobacco (3.47% or 17,361 deaths)

7. Using wrong end of lit cigarette (4.17% or 20,833 deaths)

6. Drowning in attempt to extinguish cigarette in toilet/bathtub/pool/body of water while still in mouth (4.86% or 24,306 deaths)

5. Using expired tobacco, failing to freeze or refrigerate properly (5.56% or 27,778 deaths)

4. Dropping lit cigarette due to bee/scorpion sting, causing wildfire (6.94% or 34,722 deaths)

3. Smoking near gasoline: lighting up at gas station or stroking match on gas tank/container (8.33% or 41,667 deaths)

2. Explosions caused by smoking while drinking spirits with high-alcohol content (20.83% or 104,167 deaths)

1. Karma for second- and third-hand smoke, especially “that smell” at the gym (41.67% or 208,333 deaths)

Smokers who do not quit are fighting a losing war with high fatalities. Many organizations have been formed to prevent individuals from becoming smokers and/or to help them quit if they already have. To connect directly to your state’s quitline, call 800-QUIT-NOW (800-784-8669).

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