#AshMarcus

Apr 27, 20192 min read

More Children Diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes Following Easter Weekend, Causes Unknown

Mar 12, 20192 min read

House Democrats Seek to Raise Taxes Solely as Show of Strength

Feb 26, 20192 min read

Rookie Garbage Man Gives Residents More Trash

Feb 25, 20193 min read

Lava Pit and Other Border Wall Alternatives Proposed

Feb 17, 20192 min read

Hamburglar Released on Parole Following Good Behavior

Feb 16, 20192 min read

Most Serial Killers Start with Animal-shaped Food as Toddlers

Feb 15, 20192 min read

Authorities Seek Cupid in Connection with Fly-by Shootings

Feb 14, 20192 min read

Nation to Mimic Star Trek by Holding Valentine's Day Every 7 Years

Feb 13, 20192 min read

Valentine’s Day Put on Hold Due to Worldwide Shortage of Cupid-sized Diapers

Feb 12, 20193 min read

Most North Koreans Loyal out of Pity for Kim Jong-un

Feb 11, 20192 min read

Elephants Most Invasive Species Threatening Every Biosphere

Feb 1, 20193 min read

Betty Crocker, Garbage Man, and Other Heroes to Join Avengers: Endgame

Jan 31, 20193 min read

Newly Obese Dietitians & Nutritionists Hit Hardest by Holidays

Jan 30, 20193 min read

Democrats Want More Illegal Immigrants’ Life-force to Drain

Jan 29, 20192 min read

Political Scientists: Population to Fade Away if Government Shut Down Again

Jan 28, 20192 min read

Cupid to Modernize Weaponry

Jan 15, 20192 min read

Increasing Number of Elderly Signed up by Accident for Assisted Suicide, Not Assisted Living

Jan 14, 20192 min read

Valentine’s Day Merchandise Already in Stores to Prolong Suffering of Singles

Jan 9, 20192 min read

Maryland Apparently Not a Theme Park

Jan 8, 20192 min read

THE COLON

Fake News for Real People