NEW YORK CITY, NY—Waste management has always been a major issue for New York City, the most densely populated city in the nation. However, residents along one particular route in the city were astonished to gain more trash this past week due to local garbage man, Jeremy Ericson, age 22, who is new to the position and misunderstood its description.
“This first week on the job was a little rough,” Ericson told reporters. “I thought that being a garbage man was like being an ice cream man, or maybe more like a milk delivery guy who gives subscribers more trash at regular intervals. My partner and trainer kept telling me that we actually take people’s discarded items, but that just didn’t make any sense. The ice cream man gives people ice cream; that’s what they pay for. The milk man delivers milk at regular intervals. A water boy gives liquid refreshment to his sports team. So why don’t garbage men drop off garbage? The name was really confusing. Why not call us ‘anti-garbage men’ or ‘sanitation technicians’?”
Ericson explained that it took him all week to realize what was going on and that his trainer was not actually teasing or hazing him. What really cued him in was all the comments that his boss received by the end of the week. Most were complaints but he did receive a surprising number of compliments, mostly from hoarders, the homeless, and other dumpster divers.
“I’m glad that I understand how things work now so I won’t be embarrassed,” Ericson continued. “All I have to do is take everything along the curb, in their backyard, and in their houses and cars if a door or window is unlocked. I’ll be a professional garbage man in no time.”