#Local

May 6, 20192 min read

Confused Social Justice Warrior Fights to End Segregation of Laundry by Color

Apr 25, 20192 min read

Area Dog Forgets What He Was Barking About

Apr 19, 20193 min read

Student Who Encountered Professor in Restroom Left With No Choice But to Drop Out

Apr 17, 20192 min read

Modern Voyeur Enjoys Watching Couples Peruse Netflix

Apr 3, 20192 min read

Breaking: Roommate Does Dishes

Mar 23, 20192 min read

Farmer Gus Welcomes New Sow

Mar 20, 20193 min read

Everyone in Meeting Chooses to Ignore Presenter's Flatulence

Mar 17, 20192 min read

Breaking: Young Adult in Portland to Get Tattoo

Mar 16, 20192 min read

Budget Cuts Force Chicago to Discontinue Urine-scent at Train Stations

Mar 13, 20191 min read

Spider Sure Could Go For a Fly About Now

Mar 9, 20192 min read

Lawyers Question AR-15's Competency to Stand Trial

Mar 7, 20192 min read

Man Posing as "Small Business Owner" Actually About Average Height, Weight

Feb 28, 20191 min read

Study: My 12-year-old Incapable of Closing Front Door

Feb 26, 20192 min read

Rookie Garbage Man Gives Residents More Trash

Feb 22, 20192 min read

Wife Lists Off Things She's Not Holding Over Husband's Head

Feb 21, 20193 min read

Veteran Employee Knows Where All the Good Water Fountains Are

Feb 7, 20191 min read

Local Woman Arrested for Being Illegally Blind

Feb 4, 20192 min read

Genius Detective Hangs Missing Glove on Fence

Jan 25, 20193 min read

If You Didn't Want Me to Go Through Your Lunch, Don't Put It in a Public Refrigerator

Jan 19, 20192 min read

THE COLON

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