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  • Writer's pictureTodd Blankenship

Spider Sure Could Go For a Fly About Now



GARY, IN—Area arachnid and insect connoisseur Charles "Legs" Rothschild recently shared with The Colon that he had a hankering for a fly at that moment.

The Argiope aurantia was absentmindedly plucking at his day-old web, and rubbing his digestive secum while lamenting the fact that he had not consumed another creature for approximately 78 hours.

"Yep," he commented. "Big juicy blowfly would just about hit the spot."

Though insect delicacies are hard to come by in the cold months, Legs argued that it doesn't hurt anything to dream. Indeed, he made clear that he wouldn't overdo it should the opportunity to eat arise.

"I don't want nothin' fancy," he said. "Just a normal-sized blowfly, maybe with a little bit of a green sheen to it. Not too old—maybe 14 or 15 days. Not too feisty, either. I don't want to tire myself out just sinking my fangs into it."

Legs had to then wipe digestive fluid from his oral cavity, excusing himself for getting lost in his fantasy.

"Makin' myself drool over here just thinkin' about it!" he added.

Although no fly had become entangled in his web during the interview, as of press time Legs admitted that a couple of fruit flies (Drosophila melanogaster) had made for a decent nibble, but still only whetted his appetite for "that fly."

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