BEND, OR—The local Great Dane, known as Checkers, has long had a reputation for his deep and commanding bark among the neighborhood canines. As an 8-year-old, however, he is starting to feel the impact of old age creeping up on him.
Earlier this week, Checkers found himself out on the back yard patio of his home, pouring his heart out into the neighborhood for all to hear. This is a fairly typical behavior for Checkers, who likes to let everyone in the surrounding mile or so how his day was, what kinds of animals he chased away, and whether he is still a good boy. However, this particular Tuesday check-in was different in that Checkers got going on his nightly report, and about halfway through, just plumb lost his train of thought.
"I had just gotten through the part about that smell I'd found that turned out to be a grease spot," shared Checkers. "Then, I guess I don't know what happened. I started thinking about the smell, and how I'd wished I was sniffing it right then. That took maybe half a second—I don't really know; I don't have a great sense of time—and then when I tried to remember what it was I was going to say next, I just...couldn't."
After what felt like a long silence, a couple of the neighboring dogs responded to explain that they had lost reception. Nibbles, a 3-year-old corgie, explained, "I look forward to 'Checkers' Check-ins', as we call them. He's been around for so long that I really like the wisdom I get from his stories on finding other animals' feces and such. I was listening to his Tuesday tale, and he just sort of trailed off. I wondered if he had caught sight of a rabbit or something. Then when he didn't say anything, I got pretty worried. He's never had a problem barking for 15 minutes straight, so this was bizarre to say the least."
Checkers related that he was eventually able to gain his bearings again, starting with the latest updates on how great belly rubs are. Still, this has been a sobering experience for him.
"I'm really taking a lot of time to reflect now. Or at least I think it's a lot of time—again, as a dog, I don't have a great sense of time. Anyhoo, I'm wondering if I should start taking it easy on the evening barking binges. I might start breaking it up into smaller increments throughout the day or something. I know my followers will need to adjust, but I'm not sure I have it in me anymore."
Checkers went on to state that he has thought about decreasing the radius of his barking volume to conserve energy, and he is also considering laying off the rawhide. In any case, his fans wish him well, and look forward to many more bulletins on how full the kitchen trash is.