CHICAGO, IL—Following newly-elected Governor Pritzker's budget proposal to attempt to get Chicago's financial situation in order, several spending cuts have been implemented in addition to raising other taxes. One of the more controversial budget cuts is to the Chicago Transit Authority's urine scent that has long been associated with the CTA's many train stations, and even some select trains. Scheduled to occur early this summer, the CTA will no longer pump the familiar urine smell into its stations or rail cars. "We are disappointed in these new developments," said CTA spokesperson Cindy Waters, 32. "While we do understand the necessity to reduce governmental spending, the CTA has long been synonymous with the smell of urine and occasional feces. Our passengers expect certain experiences in their travels with us, and these include the full aromatic experience of public transportation in a major city." The CTA has been allotted $3 million since the budget of 2012, but the urine scent has been a staple of CTA's spending since its inception in 1947. The new cuts are causing a stir as things that once seemed certain are now up in the air. Ms. Waters continued, "We worry that, if we begin with losing the waft of human waste to which they are accustomed, the next budget cuts may chip away at the visual experiences our passengers expect. Our funds are already running low for such popular programs as rats-feeding-on-garbage, profane-graffiti-upkeep, or even the permanently-discolored-seats." Passengers are also responding to the changes in budget largely in a negative manner. Linda Quiroz, 28, a graduate student who takes the blue line to school most days, said, "Yeah, I've been taking the train for 2 years now, and the smell is just part of the experience. I knew it was going to be there every morning. After a while it was as familiar as my mom's cooking. Now I'm not sure what to expect. I mean, it'll probably just smell like B.O. [body odor] now." Grayson Johnson, a 40-year CTA user reflects on his experiences. "Man, I've been riding this train for a long time. My nose ain't what it used to be, but I can still tell when I'm waiting for a CTA train just by that stench. It's like I could always find my bearings by following that scent." As the word spreads about the upcoming changes, some advocacy groups have formed, proposing to privately fund urine smells. Still, even without formal organization, the movement is not short on volunteers, some of whom are already getting warmed up by urinating in remote locations of the train stations throughout Chicago. Gary Brown, 52, was relieving himself in a corner by the stairs at Washington station when The Colon caught up with him. "I'm just trying to do my part to keep this city stable," he said as he stepped away from the puddle. He then spit onto the tracks as if to punctuate his statement.
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