PORTER, IN—Approximately 8% of residents of Porter, Indiana were given notices from the local sheriff's office on Friday afternoon that it is, in fact, January, and that they need to fully come to grips with it.
Specifically, these 8% of residents had been reported to authorities by neighbors or passersby for continuing to display traditional Christmas decor on or around their residences which is visible for more than 20 feet. The notices read, in part, "To display such festive paraphernalia nearly a full month following the day they are intended to celebrate is wholly offensive and unbecoming of our otherwise decent and caring community."
The notices included stern warnings, and a clear deadline of 24 hours from having received the notice, with severe punishments listed for noncompliance. "Should you fail to remove any and all decorations, inflatables, lights, statuettes, and all other things that could be loosely associated with the Christmas holiday by this time tomorrow, you may be asked to leave the county, forfeit your property, and forced to put up Easter decorations before February."
The response to these notices has been mixed. Some residents feel that this is too little too late, as Kelly Nielson, 37, expressed. "No. No, this is not enough. This has been going on for too long. It's January [expletive] 18th for [expletive]'s sake. Have a little decency! There are children in some of these neighborhoods!"
Others, like local man Erwin Easton, 48, thinks that the notices have gone too far. "I don't get what the big deal is. So these people have no self-respect, no sense of decency, and don't own calendars. That's no reason to boot them out of town. I mean, just put them in some sort of program that will help them understand what they've done. Call it a 'reeducation camp' or whatever you like. Just keep 'em there until they see things the correct way, but I'm not in favor of anything drastic."
When reached for comment, the Sherrif's Department declined to make a further statement, but did refer to the event as "the great purge."