#JoelBurgin

Apr 2, 20193 min read

PSA: Cadbury Eggs Not Viable Substitute for Eggs in Baking

Apr 1, 20192 min read

Public Cautioned on April Fools' Day: Don't Believe Everything on Internet

Mar 25, 20192 min read

Random Number Generator Poised to Win NCAA Bracket Competition for 6th Year

Mar 11, 20192 min read

"March Madness" Now Diagnosable Mental Condition

Feb 22, 20192 min read

New Dating App Lets Parents Arrange Marriages

Jan 27, 20192 min read

White Doctor Refuses to Treat Black Man Because Patient "Dead for Six Hours"

Jan 22, 20192 min read

Study: Sword in Fact Mightier Than Pen

Dec 23, 20183 min read

PSA: Stool Softeners Fail to Increase Comfort of Sitting

Dec 18, 20182 min read

Breaking: U.N. to Enter Negotiations Following Santa's Capture by North Korea

Nov 24, 20182 min read

Thanksgiving Officially Rebranded "Pie Christmas"

Nov 22, 20182 min read

Republic of Turkey Institutes Eagle-eating Tradition

Nov 17, 20182 min read

People Genuinely Appreciate Being Informed of Wrongness of Long-held Opinions via Internet

Nov 10, 20182 min read

Assassin Attributes Success to Motivational Speaker

Oct 22, 20182 min read

PETA Protests Medical Use of Moleskin

Oct 2, 20182 min read

PSA: Canola Oil Unsuitable for Car Engines, Apparently

Jul 21, 20183 min read

Manager Terminates Employee at Shooting Range

Jul 3, 20182 min read

PSA: Pepper Spray Not As Delicious As It Sounds

Jun 28, 20182 min read

MBA Somehow Made it Through Six Years of College Without Basic Spelling/Grammar Skills, Facebook Fri

Jun 25, 20183 min read

Man Regrets Stealing Identity of Wanted Serial Killer

Jun 23, 20183 min read

THE COLON

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