BATON ROUGE, LA—While normally an unwavering source of perfect information, sound reasoning, and truth, on one day each year the internet becomes a bulwark of misinformation. All Fools' Day, or April Fools' Day as it is more commonly known, renders the otherwise trustworthy and pure internet into a liar's den, where unscrupulous individuals may deceive others on a whim. Though difficult to believe, the things that one may encounter online today could be mere fabrications intended to provoke a reaction.
"Thank God it's only one day a year!" says Baton Rouge resident Johann Fawkes, 32. "I don't know what I'd do if I had to evaluate everything I read and make determinations about truth value myself! There just isn't enough time in the day." The vast majority of the nation agrees that the reliability of the internet is what makes it so valuable and that, while April Fools' Day is an unfortunate lapse in the integrity of the world-wide web, we can take comfort in knowing that the internet will be just as trustworthy on April 2nd as it was before the holiday.
Radical idealists on the fringe of society have proposed that the internet is not as accurate, neutral, or safe as many believe. They claim erroneously that threats of identity theft, malware, and satirical news sites are rampant. "Maybe on April Fools' Day you'll be exposed to dangerous misinformation, but it's only one day and I make sure to warn people as much as possible to not fall prey to it," reports cyber-security consultant Clark Vickers, 34. "But that's only on April Fools'. The rest of the year it's a veritable promised land. Certainly problems like phishing and clickbait exist online, but the beautiful thing is that while people may cheat, they will never lie on the internet. And you can trust that because it's true."
As of press time, 218,434 individuals were contacted by their banks to verify credentials and 430,972 dethroned Nigerian Princes were given the necessary funding to regain their thrones.