News 7/27

Jul 10, 20191 min read

Catholic Church to Offer “Communion Gallon Challenge” to Increase Attendance

Jul 8, 20192 min read

Sign Maker Apparently Has No Idea What an Adverb Is

Jul 6, 20192 min read

Hate Crimes Against Snobby British Elites Up 18% Around July 4th

Jul 5, 20192 min read

Critics Call Independence Day Festivities "Predictable," "Derivative"

Jul 4, 20192 min read

Coffee Credited With Prevention of 65 Million Murders Daily

Jul 2, 20192 min read

Elon Musk Announces Plans to Become Batman

Jun 30, 20192 min read

Apparent Meth Addict Dead After Swallowing Multiple Farm Animals to "Catch Each Other"

Jun 29, 20191 min read

Strange Company Proudly Sells Dog Shampoo Not Tested on Animals

Jun 28, 20192 min read

Republicans Propose Alternatives to Reparations for Descendants of Slaves

WASHINGTON DC—A hot topic in the 2020 presidential campaign is the demand of most democratic candidates for some sort of financial...

Jun 27, 20192 min read

Area Dog Thinks Her Poop Smells Best

Jun 25, 20192 min read

Frustrated New York City Just Bans Literally Everything

Jun 24, 20192 min read

Scientists: 4 Out of 3 People Don't Understand How Ratios Work

Jun 22, 20192 min read

Study: 99.9% of Kids Who Play Video Games Do Not Become Chief Justice of the Supreme Court

Jun 20, 20192 min read

Use of Oxford Comma Ranked Second-hottest Issue of 2020 Presidential Election

Jun 19, 20192 min read

Citing Sunday Dinner, Lawmaker Pushes Licensing Requirements for Cooking Green Beans

Jun 16, 20192 min read

Tireless Fathers Finally Take a Breather

Jun 15, 20192 min read

Internet Gears Up for Another Long Summer of Parenting

Jun 13, 20192 min read

Local Man Arrested for Groping Fruit in Public

Jun 12, 20192 min read

Letter K Attempts to Justify Existence before Alphabet Tribunal

Jun 10, 20192 min read

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