UNITED STATES—On this traditional Father's Day, the nation's dads are finally pausing their virtually non-stop parenting to take a moment for themselves.
Amid all of the mentoring, nurturing, coaching, encouragement, and dirty diapers, the ever-dependable male begetters are pausing just for a moment from their otherwise unceasing labor of selflessness to take a few minutes for themselves. Most, of course, are keeping their self-care time to a minimum, lest their households fall apart, their progeny descend into emotional anarchy, and their partners question their purpose.
Many choose to sleep in for just 30 minutes or so before arising to carefully guide their precious offspring through life's hardships. Others are taking a breath at golf courses with erstwhile friends whom they've not seen or contacted since first learning that they were to be responsible for the upbringing of a unique human being.
A very small minority of others may help themselves to a half glass of spirits as a reminder of their young and naive days before taking on their sobering responsibilities of rearing the fresh souls of their children, gently nudging them through a world of danger and heartache, lifting them up each step of the way, ensuring them that they are capable and worthy.
Naturally, a majority of US fathers prefer to spend every waking moment of this Father's Day with the very reason for their cherished titles. Most fathers awake early to enter their children's rooms and silently admire them as they sleep, for it fills their hearts with such joy and wonder that they have the humbling task of raising another human. Often, a tear will glide down a father's cheek as the emotion of the moment transcends earthly experience and he sees his role as part of a cosmic dance of life and death, remembering for a moment that he will some day pass on the mantle and leave the world in the capable hands of his brood. These fathers then spend the next 12 to 16 hours embracing their descendants, sharing wisdom from their life experiences, and expressing the depths of their love and dedication.
So we, at The Colon, wish all of these without-exception-stunning men the most joyful and appreciative of Father's Days. You've earned every second.
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