UNITED STATES—After this year's celebration of the Fourth of July, which marks the day the United States declared its independence from England in 1776, critics are reeling over the festivities' lack of pizzazz.
Guy Barrymore, 42, a well-respected critic of holidays and memorials, called the 2019 celebrations of July Fourth, "A bit tiresome, really."
"We've all come to expect there to be a lot of United States themes throughout the day," said the Yale graduate who currently resides in New York City. "But I just can't get over how predictable this all was. The parades, the backyard barbecues, and the fireworks. I mean, it's like they're just not even trying anymore."
Barrymore is not alone in his critique of the traditional hot dogs and hamburger meals shared with loved ones in the hot sunshine while sharing stories of what it means to be American. Haley Rothschild, 38, found this year's celebration to be lacking in uniqueness. "Wholly derivative of at least the last 100 Fourths of July," she commented. "I just don't see any innovation for the next generation of celebrators, and I worry that we may be eternally confined to this labyrinth or red, white, and blue, all while guzzling our soda pops and sharing personal accounts of battles or where we were on 9/11. This holiday is long overdue for some re-branding."
Indeed, many across the nation seem to struggle with Independence Day's waning "zip." More and more Americans are finding themselves just going through the motions when staring into the blazing glory of a full fireworks display while patriotic anthems play at full volume all around them. People often stare blandly at the flyovers, and think of their cars and homes, steady incomes, refrigerators full of food, and fully functioning air conditioners and wonder, "Is this it? Where's the oomph? Where's the luster? Where's the moxie?"
Although no one seems to have a solution, there are currently talks to simply cancel the 2020 celebrations entirely and just have everyone go to work like usual, unless someone can come up with a better way to celebrate the country's founding than honoring those who serve it, reviewing the ideals upon which it was founded, and enjoying leisure time with people who share it.
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