WASHINGTON, DC—Republican lawmakers and pundits seem to have hit upon some new rock-solid logic in the controversy regarding gun control: that people without guns should not get to make laws regarding those guns.
This move appears to have been born out of the political left's recent genius remark that men should neither get to make laws, nor voice opinions, about issues related to abortion. Indeed, as it is clear that abortion affects absolutely no other living being aside from the woman in whose womb the products of conception are currently undergoing some vague gestational process, there is no possibly valid point, thought, or fact that anyone without the necessary biology to carry the products of conception could hope to express.
However, in this logical checkmate, the republicans appear to have overturned the entire chessboard. By also pointing out how gun control laws affect only gun owners and potential gun owners, it is obvious to even the most moronic of imbeciles that there is no place at the table for those who do not own firearms.
The reaction to such solid and elegant logic has been astounding. Literally no pro-gun control person had any idea what to say at this sudden realization, and the silence has been deafening. The entire nation is now looking for other things to argue about, although it seems that this airtight logic of excluding entire groups of people from the debate on issues will only continue. For example, some democratic presidential hopefuls are beginning to formulate statements regarding how no one who is not an undocumented immigrant should get an opinion on immigration law, which will likely be countered by republicans suggesting that anyone who is not a millionaire should have no say in how to tax millionaires.
Experts agree that soon, the nation may be at a total standstill in political debate, as it seems that the logic of exclusion is completely airtight.
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