The Colon

Nov 1, 20192 min read

94% of Spelunkers Motivated by Chance to Say "Spelunking"

Oct 31, 20191 min read

Edgy Philosophy Professor Goes as Different Kind of Philosophy Professor for Halloween

Oct 30, 20193 min read

New Diet Just Asks Participants to Stop Eating When It Feels Like They Might Throw Up

Oct 29, 20193 min read

Panicked Santa Realizes It Almost November

Oct 28, 20191 min read

Mom Stopped Cooking for Me, So...

Oct 27, 20191 min read

Was Not Wary of Dog

Oct 26, 20193 min read

It's Not Like Murder Was the Only Thing John Wayne Gacy Did

Oct 25, 20193 min read

Coach Explains How Scoring Points Helped Him Win Games

Oct 24, 20192 min read

Replication Crisis a Hoax? Scientists Confirm Rain is Just Water

Oct 23, 20192 min read

Country Music Association Baffles Nation with Claim that Genre Has Standards

Oct 22, 20192 min read

All-mammal Remake of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the Works

Oct 21, 20192 min read

Women Criticized for Ruining My Weekend

Oct 20, 20192 min read

Looking for Someone With Bright Purple Hair

Oct 19, 20192 min read

Cosmetic Surgeons Now Offer Thumb Reduction Surgery for Smartphone Typing

Oct 18, 20193 min read

Responsible Adults Added to Endangered Species List

Oct 17, 20191 min read

Car Dealers Agree: New Car Ownership Key to Happiness

Oct 16, 20192 min read

Grocery Clerk Tests the Waters of Conversation by Commenting on Frozen Peas

Oct 15, 20192 min read

Rookie Candy Poisoner Just Sprinkling Gluten

Oct 14, 20193 min read

Look, Alls I'm Saying is That North Korea is at Least Unified

Oct 13, 20192 min read

Sun Petitions for a Few Days Off

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Fake News for Real People