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Writer's pictureTodd Blankenship

Car Dealers Agree: New Car Ownership Key to Happiness


HIGHLAND, IN—In a large survey of car dealerships in the area, a surprising trend appeared suggesting that true happiness stems from purchasing a new vehicle.

The car salespeople and sales managers who were involved in the study tended to strongly agree that entering into a contract to purchase a brand new vehicle was absolutely vital to experience contentment and be at peace in one's life. Additionally, they all consistently recommended making the purchase today rather than putting it off.

Although there was wide agreement about the path toward happiness involving a shiny vehicle just off of the assembly line, there was some disagreement about the exact characteristics of the vehicle that would best lead to happiness. Several suggested that a car featuring all-wheel drive, side airbags, and remote start is the only certain solution to real joy, and others said that fuel efficiency, anti-lock braking systems, and rear-view camera with parking assistance were superior features if contentment is really a priority for an individual.

In any case, all the individuals who took part agreed that you can't put a price on happiness, so there must be a way to get you into a new vehicle today.

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