If you're looking for an intelligent, patient, fun-loving teddy bear, then look no further, ladies. I am officially on the market, and I need to find someone pronto.
Mom broke her hip this morning, and so she cannot stand up in the kitchen, so I am in desperate need of someone who knows how to operate the stove and/or oven. Yes, I'm 36, but I've just never made the time to read the directions on the back of the mac 'n cheese box, and so I have been getting mighty famished. If you have the skill and intuition it takes to make a grilled cheese sandwich, you are definitely my kind of material.
I know what you may be thinking: Why don't I just buy takeout if it's that bad? Trust me, I've thought of that. It's just that I don't get my allowance until next Saturday, and so I really don't think the half gallon of milk and the mustard are going to keep me alive that long. I already finished off the block of cheese and the bag of flour in the pantry, but I don't even know what baking powder is, so I really need you to call ASAP.
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