CHICAGO, IL—Political psychologists and sociologists have uncovered a concerning trend since the 2016 election. Namely, they found that approximately one third of the nation bases its entire identity on whether Donald Trump, current president of the United States, holds his position or not.
"This is a puzzling situation," said lead researcher Jose McNemar, Ph.D. "We surveyed thousands of people and asked them to describe themselves in terms of personality, beliefs, characteristics, and so on. About every third one used exclusively Trump-related terms, like 'resistance,' 'MAGA,' and the like."
The researchers discovered that the political tribalism that has been a major issue in the U.S. for years now has apparently led to many people not even knowing who they are outside of the MAGA versus Never Trump camps.
"What's most terrifying to me," continued Dr. McNemar, 39, "is that literally not one of that third of respondents could find a way to describe themselves in terms of family, religious identity, introversion or extroversion, non-Trump-related hobbies, or even geography. It's like their entire existence in life is either to support the President, or to see the President removed from office."
The consequences of such identities so deeply entrenched in something as temporary as a presidential term are far-reaching and unprecedented. "What's bananas to me is what is going to happen to these people once the President is no longer president. It's impossible to predict, but it could go several ways. They might just latch on to the next one to hold the office in the same way: thriving by hating or loving him or her. They might direct their attention toward something else, like a celebrity wedding, too, although that wouldn't hold them for long. What's most likely, in my opinion, is that a third of Americans will simply watch Trump leave office and then they will shut down entirely. I mean it: I think they'll just sort of deflate and fall to the ground. They have no sense of self in a world without Donald Trump in office!"
The researchers offered some possibilities for attempting to reduce the prevalence of Trump-based identity. They recommend, among others, to try pointing out shiny objects to those with symptoms, as that might start to divert their attention so that they can see there are other things that exist aside from the President. Another method that shows promise is jingling a set of keys a few inches from their faces. In very severe cases, however, the researchers fear that no intervention will be successful. "In the end, it's really up to the person if they want to find some other reason to get out of bed," said Dr. McNemar. "If they can just figure out something that might be slightly more important than a single man temporarily holding an office with systematic checks and balances on his power, maybe there's some hope."