BERKELEY, CA—Nutritionists and social psychologists at the University of California, Berkeley, have recently concluded a 2-year study about the social influence on diet, and discovered some fascinating patterns.
Among their findings is the fact that approximately 28% of individuals who choose a vegan diet are actually capable of shutting the hell up about it.
Vegans are a diverse group of individuals who, for various reasons, restrict their diet to foods that consist of fruits, grains, and vegetables: strictly avoiding any animal products such as milk or eggs, as they are likely to tell you at even the slightest chance encounter.
Diedra Swanson, 25, for example, went into great detail about what she termed "health benefits" in the dietary restrictions, even though no one actually posed a question to her that was remotely related to food, nutrition, or health. "It's just so cleansing to get all of that toxic stuff out of your system," she explained, unsolicited.
The research team at UC Berkeley shared that such uninvited and soap-box-style preaching has been accepted as normal among anyone who encounters a vegan, and so they were surprised to find that just over one quarter of their sample included self-described vegans who also possessed the ability to stop yammering about it, or in some cases, to not bring it up at all in a conversation.
"We've all been in one of those painful situations where we end up at a restaurant with someone of this lifestyle," shared Associate Professor Leo Goldman, 49, one of the lead authors on the report. "They'll sit there in the chair, just aching for a chance to start talking about the treatment of animals, and the effects of raising livestock on farmland, or whatever. Once the server comes to take your order, they then have to loudly inquire about whether the food listed as 'vegan' on the menu is actually up to their standards. Give me a break! They then expect you to mention something about how great it is that they have to take protein supplements at every meal, like they're [expletive] Jesus Christ!
"Well, it turns out that some of them can actually keep that garbage to a minimum," continued the Harvard-educated father of two.
According to their observation-based study involving over 2,300 participants of different dietary preferences, 21% of the vegans in the sample were able to tone down their self-righteous, judgmental rants after just 5 minutes of those present avoiding eye contact or even acknowledgement of the vegan's presence. After an additional 10 minutes, most of those then eventually stopped hinting at their perceptions of moral superiority.
However, what truly baffled the research team was that 7% of the vegans in the sample did not bring up their dietary leanings at all in the duration of the conversation. "That one really puzzles me, personally. I suppose it's possible that they misclassified themselves as 'vegan,' which would probably explain why they didn't bring it up. I would expect that some of them had a hard time concentrating on the simple questionnaire. I'd bet about half of them were anemic," related Dr. Goldman.
As far as implications, the research team is quite excited. "If nothing else," said Dr. Goldman, "these results are very promising for parents, friends, and family members who have lost someone to the restrictive diet. With further research, it may be possible to better understand what forces are capable of getting a leaf-chewer to flap her lips about something half worth listening to."
The National Science Foundation has already pledged a $5.2 million grant to the team at UC Berkeley to continue this priceless work.