PUEBLO, CO—A brief trip to the local King Soopers grocery store turned into a nearly 1-hour venture for a local resident and his 3-year-old son on Thursday. Brian Fiorina, 35, and his son, Trenton, made their way to the store at 3:23 that afternoon to pick up a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread. However, the trip was full of obstacles as literally every patron and worker at the store stopped to comment on the fact that young Trenton had accompanied his father.
"It started the second that I opened the [van] door," the elder Fiorina explains. "It was like nothing I've ever seen."
Parking lot footage shows that at precisely the moment that Mr. Fiorina placed his hand on the vehicle's door handle, every person within a 30-foot radius was drawn toward the van. "One by one, everybody in the parking lot came up to me, peeked in at Trenton, and then said the exact phrase, "Oh, I see you've got a big helper with you today!" an exasperated Fiorina explained. "It felt like there were 10 people in a row."
In fact, video footage shows that 15 separate individuals, apparently not shopping in groups, each approached the father-son duo, as if compelled by some unknown force, in order to comment on the boy's presence and his ability to assist his father in the task of purchasing items.
"It was funny after the first three: I thought it must be some kind of weird coincidence or maybe a joke," the electrician shared. "But after five or six people said the exact same thing, it just got creepy."
The pair spent a full 6 minutes trying to get from the car to the entrance of the store—a mere 43 yards. Once they entered the building, however, the seemingly well-intended comments from fellow shoppers continued. "Oh, I see you've got a big helper with you today!" came the neighborly, albeit uninventive remark, again and again. "Some lady from the banana display actually—I watched her do this—actually set down the bunch of bananas she was checking out, and made her way over to us, still at the entrance, and almost like, got in line to take her turn to say it," the visibly bewildered man said.
"Oh, I see you've got a big helper with you today!" Fiorina mimicked.
In-store surveillance video shows Fiorina was trapped in the entrance, cornered by other patrons, for a full 12 minutes before breaking past them when a gap opened up. He then made his way straight to the bakery, where he was met by a series of workers and shoppers who continued the pattern. Each one, as if in a chorus, made the same comment in a sing-song voice so often used when children are around.
"So, I don't know what was going through my head there. I kept thinking someone would pop out from behind a corner and tell me it had all been a setup. You know, 'ha ha, very funny.'" Fiorina related. "Or maybe I thought they would just fizzle out after a couple more minutes, but there was just no end to these people."
The dyad resorted to grabbing the first loaf of bread they could reach in between all of the zombie-like consumers, and then proceeded with caution and some rigor toward the dairy section for their milk.
Store video footage shows that the remaining occupants of the building moved in concert, as if with a hive mind, in the direction of the two Fiorinas. Shoppers can clearly be seen looking and motioning toward the exact location of the duo, even though they were separated by several yards of distance, and multiple physical barriers. By no scientific explanation could they have possibly known where the father and son were, and yet all behavioral indications suggest otherwise.
After 18 repetitions of the phrase, "Oh, I see you've got a big helper with you today!" between the bakery and the dairy section of the store, a panicked Fiorina managed to get a gallon of 2% milk from the refrigerator, just before a group of 7 more workers and shoppers approached them, all saying the same phrase in the same tone of voice.
"It seemed like there was no end to these guys," and indeed, parking lot footage shows that at 3:31, there was an enormous increase in the traffic toward the store. The parking lot filled within 45 seconds, and each driver approached the store entrance in what seemed like an endless stream of human traffic.
"At that point, I was afraid for my life. I picked Trenton up from out of the [shopping] cart, and held him close to me, and just made a mad dash for the parking lot. I knocked over some guy, and I'm pretty sure I cold cocked an old lady, but I didn't know what else to do."
The elder Fiorina threw a $10 bill at one of the store workers before jumping over a barrier of shopping carts in an effort to delay the several dozen people following him. By that point, the group's overlapping comments had become one loud chant in unison, "Oh, I see you've got a big helper with you today!"
The man and offspring eventually made it to their car, where Fiorina admits that he sped off with his son still in his arms. Video footage shows that he hit two people as he hastily backed out, though they showed no indication that they could feel pain.
Reflecting upon the incident, Mr. Fiorina said, "That was the strangest thing I've ever experienced, and I used to have a problem with acid back in high school. I don't know if I'm ever going to go to that store again. Or at least not with Trenton with me, that's for sure."
When asked about the experience, Trenton summarized his view of the ordeal only with "I was Daddy's big helper!"