DAYTON, OH—"We have failed our children!" shouts Cheryl Thomas, 39, at a rally calling for more gun regulations following a mass shooting incident at a school in another state. "Why do you refuse to do something about this senseless death?" she queried outside of a local sporting goods store.
Thomas, who regularly turns her attention to text messages while operating a vehicle, often at speeds exceeding 45 m.p.h., explains that, "This is just shameful. How can we allow this to continue?" referring to the fact that the United States Constitution allows law-abiding citizens to own firearms.
The mother of two young children, who are often in the vehicle when she diverts her eyes from the road to see what her friends are doing, expressed deep sadness at what seems to her a simple solution to the phenomenon of school shootings. "It would be the simplest thing to just pass a law," she said, ostensibly missing the irony that it is, in fact, against the law to text while driving.
"These guns are evil," she added, referring to the inanimate objects that have no will whatsoever, and are incapable of acting for or against their owners' desires.
Thomas, who also feeds her children fast food three to four times per week, refuses to vaccinate them, and has not gotten around to ensuring that their car seats are properly installed, went on to ask, "Who of us wouldn't cross the ocean, or climb a mountain for our child's well-being?" She held back a tear as she looked reflectively into her youngest daughter's eyes, just 38 minutes after exposing her to secondhand smoke on the drive to the protest.
"We owe our children better," she added, suggesting that outlawing one model of weapon would have some effect on the destructive intentions of individuals who feel separated from society after bullying, ostracism, rejection, parental and familial strife, and other things, leading them to want to harm others, regardless of the manner.
"I won't rest," said the woman who regularly has a glass or two of wine while supervising her children, "until I know that our children are safe in their schools."
Thomas, who once left both daughters in the care of a neighbor she barely knew for two hours, remained at the protest until the television crews withdrew, and then she packed her children back into their car whose brakes have not been inspected in 8 years, and began checking her email while exiting the parking lot. As of press time, she had fed both of her children a bedtime snack loaded with trans fats, and left them unattended in the bathtub for approximately 3 minutes.