SEATTLE, WA—A recent study has revealed the leading cause of most failures throughout human history, shedding light on how such disappointments may be avoided in the future. It appears that the number one cause of failure in any and all human endeavors is a phenomenon known as "trying." "Trying" is the phenomenon where a human person makes some measurable amount of effort with the aim of achieving some task. This may be something small, such as learning how to cook a grilled cheese sandwich, or may be something larger like curing cancer. Naturally, the outcome of any such effort may ultimately be less than ideal, which is often considered a failure. The pattern of failures always being preceded by trying was uncovered by researchers at the University of Washington and Oregon State University, who explained their findings in an exclusive interview with The Colon. Dr. Joyce Innis, the lead researcher, explained that, "We as a species have evolved to the point where uncomfortable things are no longer tolerable, and so my research team sought to find a causal link in one of the most uncomfortable of human conditions: failing at something." The team believes that this field of research has applications for fields as diverse as sports psychology, dieting, education, addiction recovery, and many more where people are at risk of performing poorly at a given task. "We were not surprised to learn that many failures can be attributed to being under-prepared for a task, and many others could be accounted for by lacking the sufficient amount of skill to achieve the desired outcome," shared Innis. "However, upon tracing the patterns back even further, the one thing that all failures shared was the common feature of having tried to complete the task in the first place. That was very interesting, and leaves us some pretty clear conclusions." The team suggests that failure could largely be mitigated if people simply reduce instances of trying things. "For example," related Innis, "when a task or opportunity presents itself, there is the possibility of failure. According to our research, if one were to simply avoid the opportunity entirely or decline to take on that task, their chances of failing at that task almost disappear. This tactic could presumably be continued until either the task goes away, or one somehow reaches the level of skill or preparation that the task requires. Of course, how one might improve a skill is a total mystery at this point." The researchers stated that, in light of their findings, they have no current plans of attempting to publish their findings in an academic journal, as doing so might end in failure. They also expressed doubt that they would continue in this line of research, such as attempting to find what common thread successes might share, if any.