HOLLYWOOD, CA—After 8 full-length motion pictures, as well as spinoffs, countless video games and television series, and hundreds of millions of dollars spent on merchandise, the people of the United States seem to have finally grown tired of the Star Wars universe. Whereas the 1970s film, A New Hope, struck a chord with its classic theme of good versus evil set in a futuristic, technologically advanced fantasy universe, along with the coming-of-age of the main character, Luke Skywalker, fans across the nation appear to have moved on to other things of late. Lifelong fan Jason Whitehall, 41, explained, "Yeah, I used to get really excited about the prospect of a meticulously choreographed light saber battle, upon which the fate of the universe depends, where both duelers are well-matched and exercise the full breadth of their supernatural skills with The Force [a mysterious energy that some characters can manipulate or use to their advantage], but lately, meh." Whitehall then punctuated the comment with a shrug of his shoulders. The timeless theme of David-versus-Goliath heroes and villains, set amid a familiar sense of a small, but noble army of resistance fighters who band together to liberate the galaxy from an oppressive and tyrannical emperor seems to have gone stale for fans. "I remember really relating to Han [Solo]'s inner battle as he wrestled with doing what was best for the galaxy or just running and worrying about himself," shared Elizabeth Polaski, 38. "But now, I just have lost interest in relating to characters whose struggles parallel my own." Even the undying devotion of droids R2-D2 or BB8, or the archetypal anxious-reluctant hero C-3PO, have lost their savor. Dustin Walken, 44, related, "I used to fantasize about having a droid of my own. Some little companion who would risk its life to protect and serve me. That's actually why I got my first dog whom I loved and adored for 11 years until he passed on. But these days, I don't know. I guess there are just other shiny objects that have caught my fancy aside from endearing and relatable comic relief with unlimited marketing potential."
As the franchise crumbles into the forgotten abyss of has-beens, even some people have lost interest in the iconic soundtrack by the Oscar-winner John Williams. "I mean, I probably listened to the Imperial March 3,000 times in my life," commented lifelong fan Yuri Roebuck, 45. "I loved every note, and it really got my tail wagging, so-to-speak. But after a while, it's just not as interesting anymore. Maybe Danny Elfman is more my bag these days."
For its part, Disney, who purchased the rights to the franchise for over $4 billion, appears to be privately struggling to maintain interest in doing anything with the characters. One person who produces films for Disney spoke under the condition of anonymity, saying, "I keep forgetting to do Star Wars stuff. I don't know what it is. There's just something about the space ships and laser guns and light sabers that just fizzles out in my head."
As of press time, it appears that plans are to release a final film to complete the latest trilogy, and then to just pull the plug on the franchise entirely. "Maybe film majors and critics will still study them in their work," commented Walken. "I don't even know if I'd mention them to my grandkids, though."