SAN DIEGO, CA—Once again overshadowed by the Academy Awards, the International Guild of Villains held its 25th annual awards show last weekend. All the biggest antagonists were in attendance, from Bowser to Maleficent and Voldemort to That One Lady from Incredibles 2, and awards were given in about a dozen categories. Continue reading for The Colon's description of the most popular.
Best Male Villain—Gordon Ramsay for his "ground-breaking work in verbal and emotional abuse."
Best Female Villain—Ursula the Sea-witch for "still being terrifying after all this time."
Favorite Color—Black won in a landslide, surprising no one.
Favorite Accent Color—Red won the prize this year, narrowly defeating last year's winner, Chartreuse.
Top Method for Getting Rid of Nemesis—The villains selected Leaving Nemesis to Die in Complicated Rube Goldberg Contraption by an overwhelming majority. Direct Murder came in at a distant second.
Weapon of Choice—Another roundabout selection, Army of Minions won.
Instrument of Choice—Most notable and least surprising among the winners, this award went to the pipe organ as it has every year since the guild's organization. The organ's popularity among villains such as The Phantom of The Opera, Davey Jones, Ganondorf, and Captain Nemo is perhaps due to the skill it requires to play and the menacing effect of its music. Other nominees included the oboe and bagpipes, but the guild wanted a representative instrument that wasn't "so annoying."