SPRINGFIELD, VA—With the government shutdown putting extra strain on federal employees nationwide, various administrations are making adjustments to continue operations. To maintain efficiency of airport security checks across the nation, the Transportation Security Administration is offering a new fast track option for frequent travelers called "PreCheck Implant." The device is a microchip similar to those used for identifying pets, but with some additional features. Implants will be available starting next month to all airline passengers who meet citizenship, race, and background check requirements for typical PreCheck passes and are willing to fork over a few thousand dollars.
TSA spokesperson Debra Winehouse states, "Individuals with the [PreCheck] Implant will get through security an average of four times faster than regular folks because in addition to providing us with the usual PreCheck information, the device also monitors daily activity for any terrorist-like tendencies. If you think, do, or say anything remotely threatening, the chip delivers a shock to train you to behave like a good traveler." The Implant also scans one's luggage, thus further streamlining the security process.
The PreCheck Implant is administered via injection into the left palm-side forearm of a traveler and is available now at CVS.