DENVER, CO—A large, 6-year study on job satisfaction among various positions in the United States has found that elevators are among the most dissatisfied in their careers.
Indeed, the $4 million national study of career paths found that those appliances who identify as elevators expressed the highest levels of career-related turbulence. Although all those surveyed stated that there was a lot of upward movement in their positions, they all stated that the ascension was countered by equal amounts of downward movement.
Later focus groups clarified their frustrations. "It's just so repetitive," said one model who had been working for 15 years. "Every day you go through the same ups and downs. I mean, for a while I was really excited to start my day, but after a while you just go through the motions."
Another added its thoughts, saying, "I mean, it's steady work. Don't get me wrong. In my job, I've been at the highest highs, but then also the lowest lows. And then, just when you think you've finally made it to the top to stay, someone comes by and pushes your buttons to bring you back down."
It seems that, although there is relatively steady need for elevators, many of them feel underappreciated. A few of them expressed how, aside from their yearly inspections, they don't feel that they get any recognition or appreciation. "I sometimes feel like I'm invisible," said one model. "I honestly think some people save up their farts until my doors close, and then they just let 'em loose."
Unfortunately, there do not appear to be many options for elevators hoping to change careers. Often, they push through to retirement and then spend their final days in pieces at a scrap yard. However, some of the lucky ones are recycled and many even get made into escalator parts, which sometimes offer more steady direction.