CHICAGO, IL—Coworkers and acquaintances of Michelle Chavez have become increasingly unnerved in recent days as they've noticed that the 34-year-old has been grinning. They first noticed the strange behavior about 8 days previously when she arrived to her job as an architect.
"She [Michelle] got off of the elevator, and instead of sighing and putting her head in her hands for a few minutes like everybody else, she had this odd look on her face," shared coworker Beatrice Godina, 38. "I almost didn't recognize her. Like, her cheek muscles were contracted up toward her ears, exposing her teeth. Her eyes were weird, too. They didn't seem tired or lifeless at all."
These odd facial tics have reportedly also been accompanied by other bizarre behavior patterns, such as improved posture, attentive listening to other people, and validating speech. For example, on Friday, she could be seen not slumped forward at her desk, but sitting upright, and when she asked how a coworker was, there was a foreign tone to it, that has been described as verging on sincerity. She then somehow did not immediately turn the conversation to herself, but actually showed what appeared to be concern for the coworker's well-being, and then listened without checking her phone or watch for another 8 minutes to actually hear the outcome of what the coworker had to say.
"It's weird, right?" voiced Nathaniel Jenkins, who works in Human Resources. "It's almost like she's sincerely satisfied with her life, or something. I can't tell if she just doesn't fully realize where she is half of the time, or if she actually is under the delusion that life doesn't completely suck."
The effect on the office climate has been broad and deep. Others are beginning to take long lunches just to avoid seeing the otherworldly expression on Chavez's face. There has been a notable increase in the number of "sick" days taken by her coworkers, who have reported under the condition of anonymity that the sound of her polite and compassionate questions has been unnerving and alien. Indeed, several employees were not sure they could continue to work alongside Chavez unless she sought professional help with her condition.
When reached for comment, Ms. Chavez attributed her newfound heightened mood to the fact that she had recently adopted a kitten, and that she snorts cocaine on a regular basis.