CHICAGO, IL—As passengers of United flight 668 to Orlando began to board at O'Hare International Airport on Wednesday morning, most of them simply wanting to reach their destination as quickly as possible, one man was carefully analyzing the others. Gregory Tanner, 39, stood in line to board, quietly taking stock of the other passengers. "I think my best bet is gray shirt in zone 4," he said, referring to an elderly gentleman wearing a gray shirt and blue jeans. "He's overweight, and really pale. I bet he's got a desk job, eats too much fast food, and could have a heart attack at any moment." Tanner is a medical doctor by trade, and, although he openly would never wish harm on anyone, he has for years fantasized about being needed during a flight. "It's a little romantic, I guess," he shared. "You know how it happens in the movies. I'd be sitting there, quietly enjoying my book, when the sexy flight attendant would burst through the curtain, and ask, worried, 'Is anyone on board a doctor?' Then after a moment passed while everyone wrestled with the uncertainty of the situation, questioning just how dire the situation is, I would confidently stand, and say 'Yes, I am.' Everyone would breathe a sigh of relief, and I would go in and save the day, and then maybe make out with the flight attendant after. We'd have to see how it went." Dr. Tanner normally works as a pediatrician at a practice in Illinois, but finds it somewhat humdrum. "It's sometimes exciting," he stated. "I once found a kid's lost toy car. Don't ask me where he put it, but it needed a lot of disinfecting. But yeah, if I'm honest, most days are a little dull, just taking pulses and putting ointment on rashes. Also prescribing meds like you would not believe. I do that a lot." The UCLA educated doctor finds his mind wandering on flights. "We're just so vulnerable up there, all alone. Anything could happen, to any one of us," he said, with an ominous tone and a glazed look in his eyes. "I just want everyone to realize that, and then to be the one who brings order to the chaos." The physician, who is single and likes to garden, related that "It's not like I would want somebody to die, you know. I'm not a psychopath. I just want them to suffer a nearly irreversible and life-threatening systems failure, but something that I could totally handle with what's on board." The avid book reader then further commented, "Like, there was one time I was on a flight to Houston, and this lady a couple of rows up got a nose bleed. I kept hoping that it would get out of control and she'd pass out, because I would totally know what to do. But no such luck: just a little pressure and it was all over before I'd even had a chance to jump out of my seat." "What would be totally bananas would be if it was the pilot or something, right? And then I'd probably get like a medal or something," he added. As he was taking his seat in 12B, he shot one last look behind him, and could be heard muttering, "Yeah, my money's on gray shirt. Come on, man." As of press time, the flight had safely landed without incident, and Dr. Tanner could be seen cursing under his breath while waiting at baggage claim.