WESTBOUND I-72, MO—Ulysses Easton, 29, had long dreaded his scheduled trip to a former roommate's wedding in Aurora, Colorado. He hates traveling.
"I hate traveling," he shared.
His distaste for sitting in the car for approximately 17 hours was outdone only by his loathing of his former roommate, Scott Westerly, 27.
"Scott is such a prick for inviting me to his stupid wedding. We were roommates for like a semester [at Indiana University Northwest]," explained the middle school social studies teacher.
"And he's such a arrogant piece of [expletive]," added Easton.
Despite his severe dislike of traveling and the purpose of his visit, by all appearances Easton is very anxious to get to his destination.
"There's nothing even in Aurora. Some stupid mountains," he grumbled as he woke to his alarm at 4:00 a.m. to beat traffic. "Enjoy your stupid blender..." he mumbled, eyeing the wrapped gift on the seat behind him as he declined to stop or rest for a full 7-hour stretch.
"Okay, just in-and-out," he commented on his way to use a gas station restroom. "I don't want to have to make up time."
Easton drove 5 miles over the speed limit past several beautiful areas, interesting museums, and adorable shops that he would have thoroughly enjoyed, all for the sake of arriving early at the destination he had decided he would hate.
"With any luck, I can be there before sundown," related the occasional skier, apparently forgetting that the place he intended to reach so quickly was going to be miserable.
The fish owner delayed using the restroom for over an hour for the sake of "making good time," even though he was admittedly uncomfortable and upset by waiting. "Let's see if I can just hold it a little longer."
Easton did arrive at about sunset, and checked into his hotel where he proceeded to mope around for several hours before deciding to go for a drive around the city.