ALLENTOWN, PA—Hope Ballantine, 32, went in to her doctor's office with some concerns of discomfort in January of this year, only to learn that she would have to undergo a surgical procedure to correct it.
The procedure is called a hysteroscopy, and is used to diagnose uterine disorders. However, in her doctor's description of the procedure, Mrs. Ballantine was disheartened at what to expect.
"I was already nervous, of course," the mother of two explained. "I get a little freaked out just going in for routine checkups, so I was not excited to be there anyway. Then, Dr. [Bernard] Philips started to slowly explain how everything was going to go."
Dr. Philips reportedly has a habit of using air quotes—holding up one's hands and extending both the index and middle fingers of both hands simultaneously, then flexing those fingers twice, as if to frame a spoken statement within quotation marks.
"For what seemed like every other word, Dr. Philips would throw up these air quotes. At first, it seemed alright, but then he started throwing them around some pretty key words. At one point he said that the procedure is 'low risk,' and put the air quotes around that phrase. What is that supposed to mean?"
The part-time tax consultant at first thought that the medical professional had simply misplaced the hand signals, but then questioned their meaning again when placed around the words, "painless," "unlikely," and "permanent."
"For a while there I thought I might be part of some weird social experiment. I thought at any moment somebody was going to come in and tell me that they wanted to just see my reaction. But they never came."
Mrs. Ballantine attempted to clarify the surgeon's description of the procedure, but his use of the air quotes led only to more confusion. "I asked how long the recovery would take, and he repeated my question by putting air quotes around the word 'recovery,' before answering."
As of press time, Mrs. Ballantine was seeking a second opinion about her need for a procedure at all.