LAS VEGAS, NV—UNLV sophomore Aaron Chambers, 20, released a deep sigh upon entering his small shared apartment Thursday afternoon. He had just completed a long chemistry exam after a big lunch and was ready to "drop the kids off at the pool." Scott Peterson, 19, greeted his roommate from a position on the couch and began asking cursory questions, such as "hey, what have you been up to?" while Chambers made his way through the living room to the back hallway. Peterson perked up, as though remembering something vitally important, and said "hey, did I tell you about the new mod I got in Grand Theft Auto [V]?" For some as-yet-unknown reason, Peterson rose to follow Chambers down the hallway, describing in great detail a new set of character image changes in his favorite video game. "So, it actually lets you fly and stuff, man! You can Kamehameha, teleport, all the stuff! It's like you're really Goku!"
Clearly disinterested in the conversation, yet very well-mannered, Chambers muttered "uh-huh" and "yeah" at appropriate conversational points while removing his backpack and jacket, washing his hands, and imbibing a glass of water. With Peterson in tow, comparing and contrasting Grand Theft Auto representations of the Incredible Hulk and Goku, Chambers made his way towards the bathroom door in the hall, anticipating a break in the stream of consciousness pouring from his freshman roommate's mouth. During a pause in Peterson's soliloquy while he drew a breath, Chambers said with finality, "Yeah, I see what you mean, that really does sound awesome! Well..." before walking into the bathroom, closing the door firmly, and locking it behind him.
Finally finding a moment of what he thought would be peace and privacy, Chambers sat, closed his eyes, released a heavy breath, and rested his forehead in his hands, gently massaging his temples. Just as he began to enjoy the serenity of the moment, Peterson's voice forced its way through the door. "Hey, man, did I tell you about this girl in my Econ[omics 103] class? She is so fine!"
Chambers reports, "At first, I thought he was just talking to himself; none of our other roommates were home and he never gets phone calls, for obvious reasons." It was at this point that Chambers realized his roommate, whom he did not know prior to obtaining the housing contract, considered it acceptable to talk through a locked bathroom door. "I've always known that Scott [Peterson] was a little, uh... different. He spends a lot of time by himself, showers irregularly, that sort of thing, but I guess it never really occurred to me just how messed up he is."
While Peterson continued to prate through the wall about various video games, classmates, and small animals he had seen on campus, Chambers grew increasingly angry and awestruck at the audacity of his living companion. "I was so tired, all I needed was 15 minutes of time for me, and I would have listened to Scott all day, no complaint. But that cretin more than crossed a line, he destroyed something special; the bathroom is a sacred space that you just don't intrude on."
Feeling a sudden sense of claustrophobia and entrapment within the now-smotheringly small bathroom, a survival instinct welled up inside of Chambers, giving him the will to continue existing in a world with people like Peterson. "I used to have a cat that would stretch its paw under the door anytime it knew I was in the bathroom, which I used to think was pretty funny at the time. I would think 'aww, it cares about me so much!' But now I have a roommate who does the same thing with his consciousness, and I can't just squirt it with a spray bottle to drive it away. I wish I could shove that clawing paw back under the door from whence it came, but I can't." With a glint in his eyes and a stern expression he continued, " There's no more running. I just have to survive."
When asked to comment, Peterson noted, "my favorite weapon would probably have to be Sephiroth's Masamune, but it seems a bit too long to be effective, and it's only a melee weapon afterall. Yeah, the most practical weapon accounting for range, power, and use would have to be a Star Trek phaser. I mean, think about it."