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  • Writer's pictureTodd Blankenship

Man Contracts Skin Disease to Spice Up Relationship with Doctor



MADISON, WI—Area man Dennis Kutcher, 42, is currently undergoing treatment for a potentially life-threatening disease, leishmaniasis, after reportedly purposefully contracting it on a recent trip to northern Africa.

Kutcher explains, "I felt like things with Dr. [Kevin] Gardner were getting kind of stale, you know? I mean, I would come in for my usual appointments to check on my cholesterol and my blood pressure like always, but it had just become so routine. I figured I should do something spontaneous to liven things up a little."

The married father of 3 had the idea to fly to Morocco as early as December of 2017, and then scheduled the trip for early April. He planned 7 days in Morocco, unsure how long it may take to actually get a carrying sandfly to bite him. "I covered myself up with sugary water to be sure I'd get some attention from the little fellas. Boy was I excited to get bitten that first time. I got bit a lot within a few minutes, but I went back out for a few hours each day just to be sure. It wasn't exactly pleasant, but then all I could picture in my head was the look on Dr. Gardner's face when I came back and told him," the excited marketing analyst shared.

The first signs of the disease take a few weeks to appear, first showing as sores on the skin. Kutcher reportedly spent the first week back in the U.S. in elated anticipation. "The wait was agonizing, but also really exciting," said Kutcher. "After the first week home I made a gamble and called to schedule the appointment."

Kutcher, a 23-year resident of the Madison area, inspected his skin daily for any symptoms of the unsightly deformations that he hoped would appear. "I sort of vacillated between excited and terrified. One moment I would think 'Dr. Gardner is going to lose his mind when he sees my face covered with skin ulcers!' and then the next I would wonder if I'd even caught the parasite."

To his delight, Kutcher awoke on April 18th with several budding skin ulcers. "This is it!" he reports shouting from the bathroom that morning.

Dr. Gardner's reaction at the appointment was reportedly about what Kutcher had hoped for. "I could barely contain myself, but after all of these years of checking temperature and height and weight, it was so nice to feel his latex gloves on my cheeks and forearms. When he first saw the sores, his eyes shot open big for just a moment, and I'll never forget that priceless look on his face."

Kutcher detailed the attention that he got from his primary care physician. "We were finally talking again. I mean, really talking. He asked me about what I'd been up to for the last few months, and then he really showed interest in my Africa trip. I told him all the details, and he listened very carefully with that concerned look on his face that I haven't seen since he saw me reach 248 pounds in 2012. Oh, it was nice!"

The avid book reader and stand-up comedy frequenter explained that the treatments were a little disappointing. "I was excited to go through all of the tests he had to run. I felt like things were really getting personal again with all of the phone calls and biopsies. It turns out I had caught two different types of leishmaniasis, which was even better than I'd expected! But, if I'm honest, I was a little heartbroken to find out that all it would need was a few pills."

Kutcher is now expected to fully recover, although some scarring will remain from the skin ulcers. "Upon reflection, I think it was worth it. I mean, the side effects of the medicine are no fun, and these scars will never go away, but now Dr. Gardner and I have something we share. Every time I go in for a checkup now, he looks me directly in the eyes and sincerely asks me what I've been up to.

"So I wouldn't trade it," he explained.

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