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  • Writer's pictureTodd Blankenship

Funeral Home Receptionist Awfully Chipper



POCATELLO, ID—Local residents and mourning family members have been taken aback recently by a new hire at Arrowhead Funerals, Ltd. The new female receptionist is reportedly delighted when people call to make their funeral arrangements, which has left some mourners unsettled. 

    Gary Smith, 58, reportedly called on Tuesday of this week to arrange for a casket for his father, James, who had passed away that morning after an adverse reaction to anesthesia. He explains, "Yep, he wasn't young any more, but I didn't expect him to go. I s'pose you never do. Anyhow, I'd never put together one of these things, so I called up the local funeral parlor, and this gal answers. With how excited she was to take the call, I wondered if maybe I dialed a wrong number. Before I made the call, I was really sad. After the call, I was just scared."

    The receptionist in question is Stacie McAdams, 27, who began working at the home at the end of March. Mr. Smith allowed us to listen in on his conversation. "Thank you for calling Arrowhead Funerals! This is Stacie! How may I help you today?" asked the high school graduate and audio-book enthusiast. Smith gave his name and started to make an inquiry, when McAdams broke in, "Oh, hello Mr. Smith! Thank you for calling! I hope you're having a wonderful day!"

    Smith, who recently lost his confidant and role model, thanked her for the sentiment and then asked, "I was just wonderin' if you could remind me what time that hearse is supposed to be at the church on Friday." McAdams, as if responding to a question at a Miss America pageant, responded, "Oh, what a great idea to check! You can never be too careful with the planning of these things!" She then told him the time, and offered to go over the rest of the funeral plans with him, which he declined. 

    After ending the call, he said, "You see what I mean? It's just a little strange. She's all abuzz and sounds like she's smiling. But her whole job is surrounded by death! It's unheard of!"

    Other mourners have reported their surprise upon hearing Ms. McAdams answer their calls. "I guess I expected someone a little more reserved, a little more reverent. You know, given the, uh, circumstances," shared Yadira Jimenez, 38, who is currently arranging services for her grandmother who passed yesterday morning. "But she sounds like she's giving away free balloons to kids or something."

    "She might be a sociopath," added Smith. "You've got to wonder 'bout somebody who can do this. It's one thing to laugh in the face of death, but it's another to talk to death like he's friggin' Mickey Mouse."

    When reached for comment, McAdams greeted The Colon warmly and explained that she "love[s her] job." She further described "what a wonderful feeling it is to talk to new people every day, to see families and friends gather together for the occasion, and to be surrounded by flowers." She added that, "Why, just this morning I got to help arrange something for the victims of a triple murder in the county! Can you imagine the crowds that's going to bring in?"

    Ms. McAdams has no criminal record, and was able to produce photo identification upon request. Social media profiles show that she has several human friends, enjoys romantic comedies, and drives a Volkswagen Jetta.

    Residents of Pocatello remain unnerved by her presence, but vow to remain vigilant as McAdams continues to make her "living."

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