MONTPELIER, VT—In the wake of the latest trend in online "challenges," there is a trail of severely sickened people and many more fatalities.
The last two weeks have seen dozens of social media posts including videos of teens and young adults giving brief introductions to the so-called "Hemlock Challenge," before taking part in it themselves. Here in Vermont, the latest participant, Russell Doolittle, 17, is currently hospitalized and in critical condition after he consumed a tea he made out of hemlock, a known poison.
Doolittle was hospitalized shortly after posting a video online on Thursday. In the video, he is seen healthy and vibrant, as he explains how he learned of the challenge. "Hey brahs! So, I have seen this done a few times on the web now, and I'm gonna try it. The challenge is to see if you can drink some ground up hemlock root, leaves or seeds. The trick here is to not die after doing it. So bring it on, losers!" Doolittle is then seen grinding up several seeds which are ostensibly from the poison hemlock (Conium maculatum) plant, adding boiling water, allowing it to cool, and then drinking the entire cup. Doolittle then signs off, promising to post updates as symptoms of respiratory paralysis occur.
Sylvia Reynolds, of the American Association of Poison Control Centers, explains that, "This is easily the stupidest thing I have ever heard of in my entire lifetime. Poisonings from hemlock happen every year, usually because the person confuses it with parsley or something. We sometimes lose livestock to alkaloid toxicity from hemlock if they're dumb or desperate enough to eat it. These morons are going out and looking for the toxic plant, and then knowingly consuming it. We have known for millennia that it is deadly. Hemlock killed Socrates for [expletive]'s sake! Please, stop being such idiots!"
Despite several warnings, public service announcements, and pleas from celebrities that people stop taking this "challenge," the trend shows no sign of decline. "Woah! That sounds so gnarly!" said Bart Yalom, 16, of Louisville, Kentucky. "I wonder what it's like!" he added, even after the interviewer explained that it is unimaginably painful.
Local hospitals are filling to capacity with new challenge-takers but often are too late to treat any of the symptoms. "I lost three just this afternoon," said Dr. Rita Fitzgerald, 45. "I'm doing all I can, but, well...it kind of serves them right."
New videos of the challenge-takers are being posted faster than social media sites can take them down. The Doolittle video had been up for only 26 minutes and viewed 732 times by the time it was removed.
"I've never seen anything like this," said Fitzgerald. "It's like Darwin made some practical joke."
As of press time, national estimates were that 212 fatalities had occurred due directly to this social media phenomenon, and it shows no sign of slowing.
In fact, this reporter is seriously considering seeing what all the fuss is about with this hemlock stuff.