DANBURY, CT—Students at Naugatuck Valley Community College were shocked to find that they had been endangered on Tuesday by some surly prankster. Some unknown individual, in an apparent political statement of irony and satire, placed a yellow sign of sorts well below eye level and clearly obstructing the entrance to the men's restroom.
Rusty McGinnis, 20, was the first to report the precariously placed object. "I was on my way to algebra, and went to make a quick pit stop," the accounting major explains. "I was looking down at my phone as I headed into the bathroom. A good thing, too, or I might have tripped right over it."
The item in question measures approximately two feet high—low enough to remain undetected by the unobservant pedestrian, but high enough to prove daunting to the average full-bladdered man.
McGinnis explains that he had to warn a professor about the hurdle as he made his way into the restroom. "He thanked me, and then I watched him sidle along with his back up against the door frame so that he wouldn't fall over the thing."
"It was really pathetic," added McGinnis.
Not only was the obstacle placed directly in the path that one would use to enter or exit the restroom, but the rogue troublemaker had also left a thin layer of water over the floor, making the possibility of slipping a frightening reality.
Glenn Whitehead, another student and frequent restroom patron, was surprised upon his effortful entrance to find his shoes not predictably steadfast upon the wet floor. "They slid a little bit, and I thought how I might fall, but then I didn't," The 23-year-old psychology major explained.
After standing by to see four other restroom visitors nearly stumble over the article and slip on the wet floor, McGinnis took it upon himself to remedy the situation. He drew a sheet of paper from one of his spiral notebooks he carries with him, and wrote in large print with pencil, "Watch Out For This Thing!" and then balanced the paper carefully on the top of the small structure.
"I'm no hero," the history minor said. "Anybody would have done the same thing if they were in my shoes."
Eventually, a middle-aged woman approached and picked up the strange item, then carried it away. When reached for comment, she was unable to communicate with the reporter. Her native language appears to be Russian or possibly Ukrainian, calling into question who this woman is and for whom she may be working.
The president of the community college did not respond to our requests for comment, but other men's room visitors at the campus are encouraged to remain vigilant for any similar nefarious circumstances.