Not a Drop of Masculinity

Ladies, let me just start off by saying, I hear you. I see you. I totally get the whole not-wanting-men-who-are-masculine thing, and so here I am. I apologize for having been born with a Y chromosome, but I swear I am doing all I can to snuff out its influence.

Masculinity is a poison, and so I have been working super hard to detox myself. I switched to a glass of wine instead of 3 or 4 beers each night. Instead of a quick shower in the morning, I now light some candles and get into my bath, playing Celine Dion while I soak.

Instead of watching sports or the news in the evenings, I'll have a good cry just to get in touch with my emotions, and I got rid of my pit bull and now have a couple of cats. I'm working on going full vegan, and I've even started washing my hands every time I use the restroom. I never try to explain anything to anyone, and I apologize to everyone for the slightest infractions, even when I was clearly in the right. I've shunned violence entirely, so that if anyone were to threaten me or anyone I know, you can count on me to sit passively and let it continue.

I think by now I have almost fully purged myself of my masculinity, so I think that means I am finally ready for romance again, but only if you are absolutely certain that's what you're up for. I mean, no pressure, really. We can even just talk or whatever. You make all the moves, and I'll just sit back patiently and wait for you to tell me what to do next. Whatever you say.

#ToddBlankenship