Ok boys, I really need some help on this one. I'm looking for the most gorgeous beefcake out there to join me on a quest to steal the show at my friend's wedding next Saturday.
So here's the story. My roommate is marrying her dream guy, and I just can't even. She wasn't even all that interested in dating, and then she just totally meets him out of nowhere and hits it off big time. To make things worse, she also just got a big promotion at work, lost 5 pounds without even trying, and was featured in our college magazine for her work in microbiology or whatever.
I know, right? She's the worst. You have to help me destroy her wedding.
Here's what I have in mind: We strut in with me looking amazing, naturally, and dressed way flashier than any old wedding dress could do. You need to be a perfect 10, and we'll act like we're super in love, too. So much, that it will make some of the other guests uncomfortable, and be super distracting to the stupid bride and her stupid groom.
When I introduce you to Queen Perfect-Life, I want you to put on your best, most dazzling hunky looks, and stare right into her eyes for just a second or two too long until she gets that sense of "you might have had a chance with me in another life," sort of message. Whatever will stick with her for the rest of the night. Maybe give her a peck on the cheek that's just a little too moist and just a second too long for the occasion so that she's left wondering what's up. What I'm going for is just planting a seed deep down in the depths of her subconscious that tells her love is fleeting, she'll never be as young or as beautiful as she is right now, and that I could have stolen away her groom in a heartbeat if I ever thought he was worth a second look.
Sound like your kind of game? Give me a call. We need to get practicing on our lines pronto.