Gary Cruz was a jovial and amicable man who loved to laugh. And for that reason, his friends and family are kind of okay with the fact that he's gone now, after choking on his steak dinner while watching a mildly funny episode of a situational comedy.
Seriously, you guys, Gary would laugh at just about anything, even when nobody else in the room thought it was funny. Often, it was as if he was laughing at something inside his head, because he'd just go off at any time.
What's worse is that his laugh was terrifying. It was loud, nasally, and obnoxious. It was like Gary had no internal sense of volume. He had the police called on him no fewer than 17 times in the last year of his life because neighbors assumed he was being murdered, or he was slaughtering geese, or conjuring up demon clowns or something. If they're really honest about it, the neighbors are kind of not sad that Gary's had his last laugh.
Gary's jovial nature often attracted women to him, but not one of them seemed able to get past his laugh that just knew no bounds. His third wife left him after he couldn't stop chuckling at a doctor's appointment where she was diagnosed with kidney stones. He snorted at that like he was doing an impression of a cocaine-addicted Porky Pig.
Still, some will miss Gary's joyous laugh that could fill a stadium. Probably. Actually, if you will miss it, please drop the family a line so that bashing his laugh is not the only thing anybody does at the service on Thursday. It's at St. Peter's, by the way.