Hello! I am so happy to tell you about myself, and I am sure that I will love you. I like almost everything about almost everyone, so I'm sure that we'll get along.
I like going on walks, taking naps, cuddling on the couch, and listening to you as you bare your soul. I also very much enjoy going on drives for no particular reason.
I can put up with a lot. I don't care how you look, and you don't need to be any good at cooking or even cleaning. I am very good at keeping food off of the floors, and there's no need to ever do laundry for me. As a bonus, I can sniff out a rat or mouse in no time. Oh, and if you already have kids, that is not a problem at all.
As long as you let me love you, I will be all yours. I can be kept on a short leash if you like, or I'll wander around when you need some space. I understand. Loyalty is my middle name.
I don't ask much of you. All I want is a pat on the back every now and again, medical care when needed, and that you keep my food and water bowls full. You may need to occasionally clean up my feces, but in return, I'll chase away postal workers and squirrels as long as I live. I can't wait to meet you!