Hey again, everybody. I don't know about you, but I've been busy gearing up for the coming holidays, and it is stressful! Especially when your significant other breaks up with you all passive-like in mid-November...
So I'm having a rough time with Thanksgiving coming up. I'm supposed to bring a pie to family dinner, but mostly everyone was excited to meet my boyfriend who is no longer coming or even answering my texts. I super don't feel like trying very hard on this pie—or in relationships anymore—so here I'm going to explore a zero-effort version of pumpkin pie, since it's not like anyone really eats it or would be able to tell if it doesn't taste right, right?
First, get a store-bought crust—because who cares? Once you've slapped that into the pan, dump like most of a can of pumpkin in and fold in some sugar, maybe an egg? Again, no one cares, and your pie-making skills won't bring Brandon back: nothing will. For a salted effect, go ahead and let some of those tears drop into the mix. Squish it all down flat and then put it in a hot oven for some time. You know, until it looks presentable. Oh, I guess you could add cinnamon and nutmeg if you want it to smell nice. My ex always smelled nice.
So there you go, literally easy as pie, and it leaves you plenty of time to curl up and watch a movie by yourself. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.