You know the old song, "one is the loneliest number," but "two can be as bad as one?" Well now you'll never have that problem. I am seeking a beautiful woman with plenty of child-bearing years in front of her to join our large family.
If you're looking for companionship, then look no further. The role already comes with three best girlfriends all ready and waiting for you. You'll share several common interests, and I will be the center of them. There will be plenty of time for you to get to know each other and socialize while I am off at work, dating one of the others, or courting a newer model of you.
Not sure if this is right for you? Don't worry, I understand the hesitation. For that reason, I have gathered three references who can speak to my character and ability as a romantic partner. Each one is currently experiencing marriage with me, so they have fresh memories and plenty of experiences to share with you.
Just look at my track record. I'm a thrice-married-but-never-divorced man, so this is a pretty safe bet, ladies. Other men have either no experience being married, have a failed marriage, or couldn't keep their spouse alive! No problem with that here!
So if you're ready to make this quartet a quintet, then give us a call. Marrying you will be the happiest day of my life, but somehow equally as happy as the first three wedding days I had.