Hi everybody. I'm a 30-year-old non-smoker who is looking for someone who is as spontaneous as I am. If you like surprises, I may be the man for you.
I am known for being a bit unpredictable. Once, on a first date, I cancelled our plans to go to dinner and a movie, and we just went to a dance club the whole night. I know—totally wild, right? While we were there, I stabbed three people I didn't even know, just to keep things lively.
What can I say, I just like to keep it interesting in relationships. With my last girlfriend, I once showed up at her workplace with a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates in the middle of August. There was no reason—I just wanted to surprise her. Later that night, I took her to her favorite place and handed her her dog's corpse, wrapped up in a newspaper. She never saw that coming, I can guarantee it!
Some of you ladies may like that whole dull, predictable life. You wake up at the same time, shower, eat, and then head off to your job, and go on scheduled dates to the same few restaurants and theaters. Hey, if that works for you, then keep doing it. But me—I keep things interesting.
Just yesterday I proposed marriage to a woman I just saw for the first time. Think that's crazy? She was driving a bus through downtown traffic at the time! She hit 4 cars, and somebody had to go to the hospital. I'm like a yam in the ground, baby—you never know what shape I'm in.
So, if you're tired of the boring routine of the typical dating scene, then give me a call. I might call you back, or I might steal your identity and take out a loan in your name. But you'll look back on it all and you can at least be proud that you took a chance.