Shhh. Do you hear that? That's the Holy Spirit whispering into your heart, if you let it. Do you know what he's saying? He's saying you need to fulfill the plan of the Almighty Lord, Our God, and call me for a date on Friday after 8, or Saturday any time.
Our Holy Father knows you better than anyone, and he has a plan for you: specifically, to date me. Do you think that you came to read this ad right now because you were bored, or because your mom won't stop bugging you about grandchildren? No. It's because He brought you here. In His infinite wisdom, He has led you here. Open your heart to Him and me, and next He will lead you to that Italian place downtown, and then, if He wills it, He will lead you into my arms.
Just as Our Lord and Savior gave himself to us, give yourself over to your feelings, and come follow me. You and I will break bread sticks and talk of our favorite Bible passages, and discuss which saint we think I am most like.
If you are ready to humble yourself like a child and make that phone call, you will see what a blessing I can be to you. Be meek, and you just may inherit me.