I'm a 45-year-old white, non-smoking man, looking for a young woman who loves to cook, talk on the phone, and who doesn't ask a lot of questions.
I am a pilot, so I will be gone for days at a time, and so my perfect woman would have to understand that. It's not that I wouldn't love her—it's just my job, and so I don't want to have to answer a lot of questions about what I was doing in which towns, and why I look like I was in the sun, possibly at someone's soccer game. Because that's silly. Why would I go to a soccer game in a town where I definitely don't have any relations?
I would love to learn more about you and the things you like to do in your spare time. And I would for sure be listening, even though I might occasionally call you "Patricia" by mistake. In fact, if that is your name, that would be a huge plus.
Not to be overly traditional about gender roles, but if you have skill with laundry, you really might be the one. I'd especially appreciate it if you can keep those suspicions to yourself about finding long hairs that aren't yours on my shirts. I don't know where they keep coming from, but probably from the female pilot that flies the plane before I do.
I should tell you up front that I keep two cell phones, but I have a perfectly reasonable and not-at-all-suspicious explanation for that. One of them is just for work calls, so if it ever rings, I will need to leave the room to take it. I would not want to bother you with work stuff. If it sometimes sounds like I am helping someone with their math homework, that's just pilot stuff, so you can ignore that.
I can't wait to meet you, but my parents and siblings are all dead, so you will never meet them. It's all very tragic, too, so I don't like to talk about it.
Call me!