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  • Writer's pictureTodd Blankenship

Worst Deathbed Confessional Ever



Belinda Montgomery, 80, passed away late Thursday afternoon, following a brief battle with bone cancer. She is survived by her only daughter, Teresa, who was with her as she died. She describes her mother's passing as "peaceful, if an enormous letdown." In her final moments, Belinda took hold of Teresa's hand, pulled her in close, and weakly said that she had something she needed to tell her. Teresa had long suspected that she had been adopted, given the lack of physical likeness she shared with her mother. "I wondered if maybe she was about to tell me I wasn't hers, or even worse, that Dad [Erwin, 1930-2013] wasn't my real father." She was even more shocked at what her mother did tell her.

"I've been holding onto this for too long, and I can't in good conscience keep it quiet any longer," said the octogenarian, who was known for her skill with needlepoint, and who had an eye for flower arrangements. Teresa pulled in closely to hear what her mother had to say, attending carefully to each syllable. Then, with her last few breaths, the elder Mrs. Montgomery said, "I didn't really get The Wizard of Oz."

Though she said nothing, Teresa's expression made it clear she was not ready to let her mother go without more. "I mean it," Belinda said. "What the hell? Was it a dream the whole time? What a big tease. Don't tell me Dorothy really traveled to some other dimension. If she did, how did she get there? 'Over the rainbow' my ass! There aren't any rainbows in a tornado! Anyway, it would just be regular air up there. Tornado air does not explain a portal to another dimension. Give me a break!"

With tears in her eyes, and more questions than answers, Teresa watched as her mother let out one final scoff and passed from this world.

Her service will be held at St. Joseph's church on Sunday at 11 a.m.

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